My LiFe, My JoUrNaL

To mY NiKKi BaBe

2011-01-31T17:11:00.000-08:00

Nikki there are so many things to say...first of all I will miss my best friend you were always there for me when I needed you. When I would fight with Zak or get upset about work or life you were the one I texted and you were the one that came over to my house and loved on me. I will miss our talks in my garage, our date nights, your amazing smile and kind heart. I know one day we will be together again, I just hope you are there to greet me when it is my time. I have really gotten to know your family threw this event and I want you to know they are amazing. Your sister Lilian has been my savior and I dont think I could have gotten threw this without her. Please be with me for the rest of my years for I will always keep you close. And everytime I see the green pants that were too short I will laugh...And everytime I can steal someones pen I will do it just for you. Thank you for being my angel and thank you for changing my life.....

Love always your wifey

.....Missing someone gets easier every day because even though it's one day further from the last time you saw each other, it's one day closer to the next time you will....

Falling Whistles

2010-08-31T15:45:00.000-07:00

I went shopping with my mom the other day and learned of this amazing but heartbreaking story. I wanted to share with you......

This is the story of a single day.

A single, shape-shifting, life-changing, perspective-altering, never.be.the.same.kinda day.
I originally went to Africa to put shoes on kid’s feet.
My friend Blake had built a company grounded in giving and there I was, on the ground, giving.
After the shoe drop, I wandered. Sometimes with friends, sometimes alone, sometimes safe, sometimes not. I wanted into the wild.
And wild it was.
I yelled at thieving, conniving monkeys and saw Nelson Mandela yell from stage.
Cried in refugee camps and laughed during moonlight tribal dances.
Saw a baby born and parents buried.
Went south and climbed a cliff to scream from the point of the world and made my way north to see Invisible children become visible in Uganda.
Slept in mansions and huts, ate porridge and gazelle, swam with otters, fended off pickpockets and rarely showered, stopped, or stood still.
For two months, there was death and destruction, failure and fear, adventure.wonder. motion.
But all around was a pervasive hope moving steadily toward what could only be described as progress. Stories of change everywhere to be found.
Until I walked into the chaos of Congo.
The so-called Democratic Republic of Congo, home to one of histories deadliest wars.
Strange circumstances led me to her doorstop, but there I stood ready to see what she might show my western eyes.
The following is what they saw.
I hope to one day tell the story in full, but for now peek into this single chapter.
As I’m writing you, the sun is setting just over the central lake in Goma.
My computer screen blurs.
I cannot help the weeping that hinders my vision and falls on the keys even as I type these words.
Bob Dylan said something along the lines of
“People tell me it’s a sin, to hold so much pain and hurt within.”
I suppose I’m wondering if they were right.
We originally planned to spend the day tracking down the rebel leader Nkunda.
We had arranged an armed escort to take us into his territory.
However after speaking with a Congolese military journalist who had just returned from that area, we decided to postpone the trip.
He said the upcoming Peace Conference had infuriated Nkunda’s rebels and they had gone mad with drugs.
He told us it didn’t matter who guarded us, the sight of our white skin would enrage them and they would fire. “Another day, but not this day” was his advice. We thought it prudent to take note.
Instead, we caught back up with the 5 boys that had just escaped
two of the rebel armies.

Busco
Bahati
Serungendo
Claude
Sadiki

We found them in a filthy cell at a military encampment called Titu. A prison.
The boys had been forced to spend the entire night standing up straight. None of them were over 15 years old. None had ever chosen to fight. Still, they were being treated as Enemies of the State.

Yesterday each of them were giving praise to God for their rescue from the rebels. Now they’re wondering if the National Army is any different. It’s a common problem here in Congo. There is more sexual violence here than anywhere in the world, but no signs that any one of the armies are any better or worse than another. All the soldiers rape. All the soldiers pillage.

All the people suffer. There is no refuge. Not the victim-side-of-a-gun anyway. As we dug further, we discovered that the boys hadn’t eaten in 48 hours and had been beaten all night long. The soldiers forced them to blow up their cheeks and then punch them in. These boys, who have already been through a deep kind of hell, were trembling with fear. Lindsay convinced me and we went to buy them food, clothes, shoes, soap and a toothbrush. Bare materials that grant us small dignity. They fell on the gifts like wolves, smiling, laughing and thanking God. The bones of their ribs showed through their rags as they ate.

THE BANANAS IN THEIR HANDS WERE THE FIRST NON-ROTTEN FOOD THEY HAD EATEN SINCE THEY HAD LAST SEEN THEIR FAMILIES.

While we waited for the UN, who had promised to rescue them, we spoke with the boys individually. Each had been abducted. Plucked from their homes, schools or farms. Each had been tied up and beaten. Each had been forced to kill. Sadiki had been dropped in a hole, deep in the ground. Nearly 300 boys were forced into the ditch for 20 hours of the day. They sat and slept in their own excrement. Slowly, they awaited the other 4 hours of the day when they found themselves tortured and trained to fire a gun. Only to be dropped again into their own filth.Many of us have heard the stories of child-soldiers. Invisible Children and stories such as A Long Way Gone have been groundbreaking in granting us glimpses into their tortured lives.

I had heard.known.cared. I had even reacted and raged. But when these boys told me of the whistle blowers, the horror grew feet and walked within me. Captured by Nkunda’s rebel army, the boys not big enough to hold a gun are given merely a whistle and put on the front lines of battle.

THEIR SOLE DUTY IS TO MAKE ENOUGH NOISE TO SCARE THE ENEMY AND THEN TO RECEIVE – WITH THEIR BODIES – THE FIRST ROUND OF BULLETS.

Lines of boys fall as nothing more than a temporary barricade.
Those who try to flee are shot at from behind. The soldiers call it “encouragement” to be brave. Without a gun to protect themselves, the smallest boys are placed between the crossfire of two armies – forces fighting for reasons far beyond their ability to understand.

WITH FALLING WHISTLES, THEIR ONLY
CHOICE IS TO FEIGN DEATH OR FACE IT.

Dwindle to some soldiers petty fire. His only wish is to go back to his farm, because he’s sure his parents need his help to raise the family. For quite some time, they have believed him dead.

As with us all, the boys gained freedom from sharing their stories. Tears turned to smiles and smiles to laughter. Little in our respective lives was similar, but storytelling is strange and powerful. Surrounded by angry and onlooking guards, we found some small comfort in one another.

“WHAT THE HELL ARE WE DOING HERE?”

Am I even capable of doing anything to help such madness?
The only Rwandan of the group was sure that he had fought against Nkunda’s army - the very same rebels that had abducted these Congolese boys. I asked if that made them enemies. He looked at me, laughed, and kissed Sadiki. “We are only boys. How can we be enemies?”

As the day turned to dusk, we all grew worried the UN wouldn’t come to pick them up. Their hands and eyes betrayed their dread at staying yet another night, standing among these merciless guards. We started making some calls only to discover that the UN had passed

responsibility of the children to Unicef, who had then been turned away at the prison 4 times. The soldiers wanted the children to stay for another night of entertainment and weren’t prepared to have them released.

Lindsay hit the phonebook for some frantic politicking with our newfound connections. Finally both the Unicef and the UN trucks were admitted inside the Titu compound. I’m not sure what changed their decision. But I suppose I don’t care. We quickly loaded the boys into the trucks as the soldiers prepared to block our exit. Just because the trucks had gained entrance didn’t mean they’d allow them to leave.

Halfway through the camp they demanded the truck stop and empty out. Again, politicking and protesting with all the Americana authoritarian aristocratic animated attitude we could muster, the boys were finally allowed back in the truck and set free.

Weeks ago they had each planned out their escape. Praying they’d be rescued from their mad dash out of Nkunda’s camp. When the Congolese army picked them up, they thought their dreams achieved - only to be corrected by dark fists in the night. As we watched them leave Titu, we knew we were seeing their escape finally fulfilled.

The burden of their lives weighs heavy on me tonight. I close my eyes and see whistles falling from palm sized hands. And I haven’t the damndest idea what to do about it. I have to share their story. But haven’t a clue how to pull it off. I know simply that this cannot, cannot go on. And I know we’re gonna need a lot of help. From a lot of you. There is a Peace Conference starting tomorrow, regarding decades of war and millions slaughtered. Yet I’ve seen no other westerners. No American media. No Muzungus. Nothin. We are the land of the free and the brave and seem not to notice that the brave here have never been free.

But today was a start. Five are safe at least. It’s a beginning I suppose. Responding to such a story is never easy. We have struggled ourselves. But take a lesson from the Titu boys - share. Tell their story. The violence continues in Congo,but at this very moment,there are Congolese artists who are pulling former child soldiers into a creative community of rehabilitation.They call themselves YOLE as a rallying cry for peace.

They are our partners and our inspiration. Around the world, the sound of a whistle demands STOP. PAY ATTENTION. It is the Symbol of Justice.

Ask the same of your friends. Be a whistleblower.

100% of the procededs go to help these children go to http://www.fallingwhistles.com

GrAdUaTiOn 2010

2010-08-18T15:21:00.000-07:00

Well I finally did it....after two years of school I graduated with my Associates. Even though I still have some more schooling to do before I am done, I feel great! I want to thank my mom and my husband for all their help and support. I could have never done it without them. I love you guys so much, thank you for helping me fulfill my dreams. I am taking a break for a while, I need to work and help my family get caught up. I am working at Ogden Regional in the lab and I really like it. I love working in the hospital its exactly where I want to work. I cant wait to go back and completely finish, until then I will enjoy my job and learn everything that I can.

HaPpY BiRtHdAy

2010-05-18T16:30:00.000-07:00

I turned 26 on May 16th, and the night before we had the funnest 80s theme birthday party for me. My friend Cassie was so wonderful and spoiled me. After a long night of drinking and laughing a HUGE cake fight started (Thanks for Camile). It was probably one of the funnest things I have ever done. My house was trashed, in fact trashed is a understatement haha. I am still finding cake after 3 days. And of course my friends are so amazing that they stayed until 2:30 in the morning to help me clean it. When I say clean I mean the way drunk people would clean lol, but its the thought that counts. The next day Cassie, Camile, and Ashley took me and Zak out to breakfast. And my parents watched the girls. I am so lucky to have the friends and family that I have. I love you guys so much, thanks for giving me one of the best birthdays of my life. I will NEVER forget that night :)

SeLfLeSs AcTs

2010-05-17T18:57:00.000-07:00

Today Zak got laid off for the third time in the past year, we have had such a struggle with the health of one of our twins and the economy. I had a breakdown and didnt know how I was going to even get gas in my car. Someone did such an amazing selfless act. My mom called me to tell me that someone had left an envelope for me at her house and to come and pick it up. When I got there and opened it, it was full of money. My mom refuses to tell me who did this amazing thing. But deep down I know who it was. I am so blessed to have someone who loves me this much, and honestly never thought I deserved it. Its in times like this when you see who really loves you, and will be there in hard times. Even though this person says they didnt do it, I just know they did. And I love you for it! They knew that I would never except this money from them, so they went about it in a way that could never come back to them. God sees these wonderful things you always do, and sees what a wonderful person you are. No matter what anyone ever tells you, you are WONDERFUL. And you deserve nothing but the best in life......

ThE TrEe HoUsE

2010-05-09T18:59:00.000-07:00

We took the girls to the Tree House and they loved it...It was a blast, I have to tell this funny story. So we got the girls on the little fire truck with their hats and some kid around 7 decided he wanted to get on. My little 20 pound Ady had something else in mind. She pushed this kid like nothing haha. It was the funniest thing I have ever seen, this kid looked at her in shock. With our luck Zak snapped the picture of Ady and this little boys face PRICELESS!!! I love my family, we have so much fun together.

...HaPpY BiRtHdAy ZaK...

2010-02-09T08:58:00.000-08:00

Happy birthday my love....you are such an amazing man. I am so very lucky to have you and I love you so much. You are such a great dad and my girls absolutely adore you. We have been through so much the past couple years and I am so glad we have fought together to make it. I am looking forward to spending the rest of your birthdays together.

Love, Devotion, and Eternity

I WaNt To Be A NuRsE

2010-01-13T09:18:00.000-08:00

So those of you who dont know I am have been going to school for the past 2 years so that I can be a RN. I am now officially applying for the RN program and I have to write a letter to the board of nursing. I wanted to share it with you....

My name is Misty Overduyn and I am 25 years old, in order to tell you why I want to be a RN I need to tell you a little story. In February 2007 I found out that I was pregnant for the first time, something my husband and I had been planning. It started out really bad, I was very sick and was in and out of the hospital until then finally put in a picc line. This went on for about 2 months when my doctor asked me to come in for an ultra sound just to make sure everything was ok.
We went in expecting to see our baby and surprise there were two. We were so shocked and happy at the same time. Instantly the doctor said we were at high risk, not only for having twins but identical twins. They shared a placenta and therefore I needed to be seen weekly. After a month of weekly ultrasounds the doctor noticed that one of my twins (baby A) had not been growing as much as she should have been. He then was very blunt with me and said my girls had Twin to Twin Transfusion, Unequaled Shared Placenta, and that I only had a 30% chance of having both babies of survive.
We were immediately sent to St. Marks Hospital in Salt Lake where they put me on bed rest. I was now going to the hospital 2 days a week to have intense screening. At 27 weeks they noticed that baby A was losing fluid and had stopped growing. They put me on hospital bed rest and had me constantly monitored. Three days later I went down stairs to have my daily ultrasound and baby A had lost more fluid and her heart rate was very low. They then rushed me back upstairs and prepared me for an emergency c section.
August 23 at 2:14 my twins were delivered Adyson Jeanette Overduyn 1 pound 5 ounces, and Tyler Michelle Overduyn 2 pounds 7 ounces. They were rushed to the NICU; I didn’t get to even see them until my spinal wore off. It was the longest 5 hours of my life. I finally got to go see them and they were so small no longer than the size of a dollar bill. They had cords and tubes everywhere, nothing can describe how helpless I felt in this moment.
My babies spent 3 months in the NICU and everyday I would go and visit them. Everyday while I was sitting with them I would think about what I could do to help others in this situation. Then one day I was sitting talking with one of the doctors and she said how great I would be as a nurse. As soon as she said that I just new that was what I wanted. My girls had inspired me to help others and from that point on I did what I needed to do to make my dream come true. I have worked so hard in school and struggled with the health of my kids. I know that one day I will work in the NICU and I will be a great at it. Not only on a medically but personally, I know how it feels to be helpless and to not be able to take care of your child. So this is my dream, I want to take care of babies; I want to be not only a medically knowledgeable RN but a compassionate one. I wanted to share my story with all of you....

MeRrY ChRiStMaS

2009-12-30T17:42:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas baby girls, we had a blast. For Christmas this year we had my cousin who is a professional painter come in and paint the play room into a malt shop. Then we bought a play kitchen, fixed up some old cubords, got some fake food, and it looked adorable. They were so happy all day, they smiled and laughed. It was a amazing. We also had my mom, dad, and two brothers stay the night. It was just like old times, me and Zak slept down stairs with the boys and we stayed up most of the night talking and laughing. We woke up early like old times, and opened gifts together. I had such an amazing day, I love my family and I am so lucky to have them.

ReSt In PiEcE KeNdRa

2009-12-16T10:50:00.000-08:00

Kendra Clifton passed this morning, she was my friend at Stevens Henager College. Such a young and sweet girl. She turned 21 on November 5th, that week she was having massive pain in her back. She went to the doctor several times and they couldnt find anything wrong with her. She went to the ER and they sent her home, two days later she was at work and her legs went numb she went back to the ER where she collapsed. She was rushed into the ICU where she remained in a coma for a month. She had developed a staff infection which went untreated and turned into MRSA. For those of you who dont know what MRSA is, its a very contagous staff infection that completely takes over your body. This infection spread threw her blood, bones, and urine. Probably caused from her needles, she was a diabetic. Last week she opened her eyes and we thought she was going to pull through. Over the weekend the doctors found fungus growing on one of her lungs, and found that both of her kidneys were failing. She faught so hard for so long. I love you Kendra, I will miss sitting in class with you talking crap on all the idiots around us lol, laughing at Dr Merida and the way he talks. You are in a better place now, and I know I will see you again someday. Love you

“You can shed tears that she is gone,
or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her only that she is gone,
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what she'd want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on.”

PlAyInG In ThE SnOw

2009-12-15T13:44:00.000-08:00

The girls finally got to play in the snow.....With the health problems over the years we have not been able to play in the snow with the girls. We finally got to do it! Tyler loved in, she ate the snow, threw snowballs at Zak. Ady on the other hand didnt know what to think lol. She stayed for a min then wanted to sit on my lap and watch her sister. It was the cuttest thing ever, and their little snow suits crack me up.

HaPpY HaLLoWeEn

2009-11-07T08:30:00.000-08:00

Happy Halloween! Well we had a great day the girls dressed up as little fairys. Not only was it Halloween but it was also mine and Zaks 3 year wedding anniversary. We took the girls around to see my family and of course they got spoiled. Then my wonderful mom took my girls overnight. We went to dinner, then Zak surprised me with a room at the Alaskin Inn. When I walked in the floor was covered with red rose petals. He also had candles, wine, and chocolate covered strawberrys. How did I get so lucky to have such a wonderful man. We have had a rough few years but I am so glad I have him. He is amazing :)

My LoSt BrOthEr

2009-10-09T23:14:00.000-07:00

I am torn in what to do. I have a brother who is lost in his life, but does not know it. He is 17 and in with "the wrong crowd" his best friend in my eyes in the cancer that is destroying everything I know and love about my baby brother. For months my mom has been telling me he has changed for the worse, and for months I have been blinded by his minipulations. Its funny how you can love someone so much, but be so angry at the same time. I am so worried for him, not only for his future if he continues but for his safety. I feel such a horrible feeling every time I look at this kid he calls his best friend, a friend that 6 months ago threatened to shoot and kill Josh because he was dating his sister. I have no control and it kills me. I know no matter what I say to him he will blow it off. I know he will learn in time, but he is pushing me away. I cant emotionally handle this, for my mom I can see why she keeps letting him do this to her. He is her son, but he is not my son. And I have to just let him go, my baby brother, I love him more than he will ever know. But I need to take a step back and let him learn. I just hope he opens his eyes sooner than later. I love you Josh, and I am always here for you.

GoD SpEaKs To Us

2009-10-08T12:13:00.000-07:00

My mom wrote this for me, having premature twins was a rough ride but totally worth it.

God held their tiny little hands
He cared and loved them to the end
He turned and sighed and set them free
For the mommy soon to be
Then stopped and sighed and whispered in their ears
Live your lives well as can be, and remember in your hearts
You’ll always find me
The mother I’ve chosen to watch over you,
She’s so special I gave her two
Take it easy on her it’s her very first time,
Love and kiss her till the end of time
Bubbles and baths you’ll have a good time,
Laughing and loving you’ll be partners in crime
You’ll dream of me at the end of the night
And thank me for your mommies delight
At night she sits and stares at the two of you,
And wonder what she did to get you
A mommies pray brings tears to her eyes
To her babies shell always have ties
Now go and play in the water and sand
And remember to always take your moms hand
You will grow and love your mommy’s heart
Sometimes you’ll forget the love she has
But don’t you worry the two of you
Just make your way back and she will be there for you

ThInGs ArE lOoKiNg Up

2009-10-06T21:56:00.000-07:00

I am having a better out look on things today, things are calming down for me. Zak is back to work after almost a year of being off. I got approved for my unemployment. And even though the heartache is still there with my brother, things seem to be looking up with me and my mother. I dont think I have felt the love I have felt from her these past few days since I cant remember when. I am begining to think that this mess my brother has caused has been for a reason. Maybe a reason for me and my mom to get close. I do urn for that so bad. I dont have many friends and only one girl friend that I talk to weekly. I miss having a "girl friend" I miss talking about everyones drama, lol. I need girl time, I want a good friend that I can see Laughing and talk to as much as possible. I cant seem to find a trust worthly one, so maybe this is the in for me and my mom to have that. I am going to keep trying to be positive and keep trying to love her for who she is. The good and the bad.